Long Distance Connections
When I was little, my favorite thing to do was visit my grandparents each summer. My dad was in the Air Force, and we lived a minimum of 12 hours away, so trips were rare and very special. This was the 1960s—30 years before texting and 40 years before video calling. To stay connected in between visits we made short phone calls. Back then, long distance phone conversations cost more than a tank of gas. Writing a letter was cheaper, but the post office took weeks to deliver a letter or card. It was a struggle to stay connected with my grandparents, but we did.
According to AARP’s 2018 Grandparents Today National Survey, over half of grandparents live more than 200 miles away from at least one grandchild and another “third live more than 50 miles away from their closest grandchild.” According to the survey, 68% of grandparents said, “living too far away is a barrier to seeing grandchildren more often.” Two of my grandchildren live 1,101 miles away from me, and the other two live 36 miles away. It makes connecting a challenge.
So, how do you stay connected when your grandchildren live so far away? I asked my readers to share ways they connect with their loved ones. Check out the 10 long- distance connections that work for them.
Write letters. It costs only 60 cents to mail a letter. Nonna Narda writes letters to her 8- and 9-year-old grandchildren. “They each made up secret codes that we only share with one another in our letters,” she said. “They love it, and so do I. We all enjoy getting mail.” It’s also a great way for grandkids to practice writing skills.
Have video chats. Visiting with a grandchild on your phone when you are hundreds of miles away is another way to connect. Great-grandparents Nana Ann and Baw Baw Noel live in Florida half of the year and Virginia the other half while their great grandchildren live in Maryland. They use FaceTime to stay close. “We have been able to see and know our great-grand twins so well,” said Nana. Baw Baw added, “It allows us to feel like we’re near them, and we are able to keep up with the twin’s and our grandkids’ lives.” Seeing and hearing your loved ones keeps you close.
Play Virtual Games. There are many games grandparents and grandkids can play together on their phones and computers. Grandma Robin plays “Words with Friends” with her grandson. “I played ‘Words with Friends’ with my adult friends, and that’s how I knew about the game. Because my grandson is advanced for his age in reading, we started playing it remotely. It’s spelling and words, and I thought it would be a fun and educational game we could play together. It turned him on to other word games on my phone.” A healthy competition is a good way to bond with grandkids.
Read together. Again, thanks to video chatting apps, a grandparent can watch and listen to a grandchild read, or they can read to a grandchild. Mimi Meri loves to send seasonal books to her grandchildren. “Seasonal books are a fun way to stay connected, and they get a surprise in the mail,” she said. Local bookstores and used bookstores often have seasonal books displayed before a holiday.
Text each other. For grandchildren with a cellphone, texting is a great way to communicate and share photos. Grandma Diane keeps connected with her middle school grandchildren through texts in the morning before school. “I just want my granddaughters to know I’m thinking about them. I tell them I hope they have a good day and that I love them.” Remember to avoid texting grandchildren while they are at school. You don’t want to be the reason your grandchild’s phone goes off in class.
Create a quilt or quilt a book. Grandma Natalie is a talented quilter. To keep close to her three grandchildren, she makes them personalized quilts. Together they pick a design and choose the fabric. Then she quilts it for them. Her newest project is a quilted book for her oldest grandson about the person he was named for—her beloved late husband. “I wanted to keep his memory alive, and I wanted my grandson to know the person he’s named for,” she said. Homemade crafts allow you to share your talents and interests with your grandchild.
Send holiday cards. Another way to keep in touch is to send a card for any occasion. While there are eleven annual federal holidays in the United States, there are thousands of other holidays to celebrate. The National Holiday Calendar lists 7,960 holidays celebrated—546 just in November. November is National Gratitude Month—a great time to let your grandchildren know why you appreciate them. Find a holiday that you can begin to celebrate together based on your grandchild’s interests. An envelope can hold up to 4-5 pieces of regular paper for first class mail. Add stickers, notes, or photos for an extra treat.
Share photos and videos: Receiving videos and photos of the grandkids in one of their activities is a great boost. These moments are collected on your phone and will occasionally pop up to brighten a day. Even when you can’t be there physically, you can be there emotionally thanks to shared photos and videos.
Follow social media. For older grandchildren, social media is a great way to connect. Just remember not to make embarrassing comments or tag them in your photos without permission. Instagram is a shared platform with younger and older users. Be sure you know your grandchild’s (and their parent’s) rules for posting.
Share a book of photos. After every trip I take to visit my grandkids, I create a photo album with photos from the trip and mail it to them. It gives them a reminder of the fun time we had together, and it gives me memories to look at when I miss them.
The point is to stay connected however you can. Do you have a favorite way you connect to your grandchildren when they are far away? Email it to me at JulieSandersWriter@gmail.com, so I can share it in a future blog.
Next month, we will focus on special ways to celebrate the holidays. If you have a special way you share your holiday with your grandchildren, send it to me. You might become a grandparent influencer. Thank you for reading my blog.